Boundaries are essential for mental well-being, but what happens when someone suddenly shifts the expectations of an agreement? Whether it’s a job interview running overtime, a boss adding extra work, or a friend changing plans last minute, knowing how to navigate these changes without feeling overwhelmed is crucial.
In today’s blog, we explore practical strategies for neurodivergent individuals to handle shifting expectations, advocate for their needs, and set boundaries confidently.
Why Changing Expectations Can Feel Overwhelming
Neurodivergent individuals often thrive on structure and predictability. When plans shift unexpectedly, it can trigger feelings of anxiety, frustration, and even dysregulation.
Common situations where expectations change:
A job interview going longer than expected or requiring additional rounds.
A boss asking for extra work beyond what was initially agreed upon.
A friend or partner changing plans last minute without clear communication.
These situations can leave you feeling trapped between asserting your needs and appearing too rigid.
How to Ask Clarifying Questions to Gain Clarity
One of the most effective ways to handle shifting expectations is to ask clarifying questions. This ensures that you fully understand the situation and gives you time to assess whether or not you can accommodate the change.
Examples of clarifying questions:
🔹 "I understand that you need more time from me. Can you clarify what specific information you are looking for?"
🔹 "I appreciate the opportunity for a second interview. Can you share what you are hoping to assess in this round?"
🔹 "I understand that plans have changed. Can we discuss how this impacts my role/responsibilities?"
Setting Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty
Boundaries are not about saying "no" to everything—they are about making informed decisions about what you can and cannot accommodate.
How to express your boundaries professionally:
🔹 "I had planned for our original timeframe. I’d be happy to schedule another session to cover additional questions."
🔹 "I need time to prepare for this change. Can we set a time that allows me to be at my best?"
🔹 "I appreciate the flexibility, but I need clear expectations to ensure my best performance."
Conclusion: Empowering Yourself in Conversations
Navigating shifting expectations doesn’t mean sacrificing your needs. By asking clarifying questions, expressing your boundaries, and advocating for yourself, you can create a communication style that supports both your well-being and your success.
Next time you feel blindsided by a sudden change, remember: your voice matters. Your boundaries matter. You deserve clarity and respect in every interaction.
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